The Paradox of Wellbeing

--by Vipul Shaha

Matri Mandir, Auroville, India

Sometimes, I see myself—

Rushing to ‘Slow Down’,

Stressed to ‘Create Calm’,

Restless to ‘Find Peace’,

Too stretched to be at leisure,

And too desperate,

To ‘Change the World’.

Sometimes, I catch myself—

Fiercely competing

To achieve

A state of ‘Mindful Being’,

Estranged from loved ones

In pursuit of an ‘Integral Life’.

Amassing and accounting

My stockpile of kindness

And good karma.

Sometimes, I find myself—

Exhausted, planning

The next service trip,

Or the next retreat

On peace and wellbeing.

Glued to a screen,

Reading about ‘Embodiment’

And ‘Ecological Belonging’.

Sometimes, I find myself feeling hurt

While seeking reconciliation.

Disconnected and disappointed

In trying to forge a connection.

Lost and lonely—

Amidst

So many people,

So much action.

Sometimes, I’m amazed

By my own impatience—

To heal and be healed,

To repair and restore.

Sometimes, I notice myself—

Feeling insecure and clingy,

In trying to lighten and let go.

Seeking and needy

In the midst of plenty.

Sometimes, I’m weighed down—

By the longing

To find meaning.

Doing too much to ‘simply be’

Growing desirous

Of being desire-less.

And getting too serious

In my quest for happiness.

Yet—

These moments of ‘seeing’,

Are moment of ‘freeing’.

Because they show me the mirror,

And make me more human.

They allow me to love,

To forgive and to accept—

Each moment,

As it is. And who I am.

To be kind, gentle and patient

With my true, whole self.

And that, is the beginning

Of a more organic wellbeing.

----by Vipul Shaha, April 2025

Dedicated to two beautiful Red Cotton Bugs, whose lives tragically got crushed in my rush to meditate inside the Matri Mandir (Auroville, India). They left me in deep remorse and with this ‘Paradox of Wellbeing’ that I continue to ponder over.

Much Metta 🙏🏼